As my guitar gently screams

"TWANG! AAAAAHHHH!" 


Razia was relentless. She'd learnt the chord only yesterday. She was annoyed that she'd forgotten it so soon. She carefully placed three fingers - one each on the nose, temple and lower lip - and strummed the thighs as hard as she could.


The sound wasn't right. "Press the correct spots. The sound should be pure - crisp." Her teacher would reiterate.


Razia was determined. She bent forward, extending her fretboard ahead - to get a better look at her instrument. The sounds were coming alright - just not the right ones.


She decided give it another crack. Adjusting her pose on the couch, she cracked her knuckles and held her human close, correctly.


She pressed the aforementioned trio of spots; the human winced, waiting for the inevitable. Razia brought her right hand down hard.


Tears hit the floor. That's how she knew she'd gotten it right this time.

Vibrate

"But...but...I swear it happened! Hello?!"

Parikshit's cries fell on deaf ears. The walls around him mocked him. The plug point next to his head jeered at him. "Hiss! Whacko!," it teased. So did the other inmates.

He was 2 years old and had always been on time. Yet, the only thing people associated him with today was false alarms. The cell he was in was designated for hopeless cases like him. But Parikshit was convinced he could be cured. He really did.

As he slowly went to sleep, his SIM wandering over thoughts about his last discharge, the warden slammed his door, waking him out of his reverie.

"P-man!" he bellowed. "Entertain me. Tell me what you thought happened yesterday."

Like clockwork, Parikshit stood up, approached the cell door. 

"I was minding my own business, lost in thought, when I felt my human vibrate!"

He ceased to talk only to let the warden get up after his bout of laughter. "Please... go on." the warden's words pricked him.

P-man went on. "I thought I was conjuring crazy so I ignored it. That's when I felt him vibrate again. And this time, I swear it was no hallucination"

He dropped his pyjamas, reached into his pocket, took his human out and yelled.

 "I SWEAR HE WAS VIBRATING!!"

Swipe

The fourth ring was cut short halfway. "Hello?" the voice was raspy. "Hello. Good evening sir. Is this Mr. Platinum Card last four digits 9110?"

A few moments passed without any exchange. "It is. Who's calling?"

"Good evening sir. My name is Pissflake last four digits 4242 and I'm calling you since you're a customer with Nexus Blink Copses. Can I interest you with an upper class A human?"

Mr. Platinum was now losing his magnetic mind. He had paused a very serious documentary about fishing thefts in debit pools. Being an aquaculture buff, he needed his daily dose of fins and was busy streaming videos online.

"Look Pissflake 4242, I am not interested in any more humans. I have 3 middle class C males and 1 upper-middle class B female. I do not need any more. My needs are adequately fulfilled and the only need I have right now is to end this conversation."

More silence ensued. This was destined to be a short conversation. It was.

Mr. Platinum hung up on Pissflake quite rudely.


Little did he know that Pissflake was no Blink agent. He had just swindled Mr. Platinum to the tune of 6 months off his impending  expiry date.